Three Monkeys Sat in a Coconut Tree

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Discussing things as they’re said to be.
Said one to the others, Now listen, you two,
There’s a certain rumor that can’t be true;
That humans descended from our noble race,
The very idea is a shocking disgrace.

Never did a monkey desert his wife,
Starve her babies and ruin her life.
And you’ve never known a mother monk,
To leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another,
Till they scarcely know who is their mother.

And another thing you’ll never see;
A monk build a fence ‘round a coconut tree,
And let the coconuts all go to waste,
Forbidding any other monks to taste.
Why, if I put a fence around a tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here’s another thing a monk won’t do:
Go out at night and get on a stew,
Making whoopee, disgracing his life,
Then reel madly home, and beat up his wife.
They call this pleasure and make a big fuss,
They’ve descended from something, but not from us!
- author unknown