Henry Wiebe .com

Training children

Father of Spirits

 

The real child you have is a spirit.   All you see is the body (he or she) lives in.  The life and nature and characteristics – the invisible qualities are from God, the father of Spirits. 

        The physical is for this short lifespan.  The Spirit is the infinitely more important because it is forever.

        In bearing a child, you have been entrusted with one of God’s most precious gifts.  I believe the greatest eternal rewards go to those who are faithful to follow his instructions in caring for and training their children.  The Father and Mother both together following God’s directives in this most important endeavor can fulfill the family purpose as stated in Mal. 2:14-15, “The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth… she is thy companion and the wife of thy youth.  And did he not make one?  And wherefore one?  That he might seek a godly seed (offspring). “   One reason God made the sacred union, the one flesh, marriage relationship is so that you together could raise up godly children.

 

“Whose Child is That?”

One of the worst sins that resulted from the fall of man is selfishness. Men want to claim ownership of everything God blesses him with, “my house, my car, my freedom, my children.” Listen as God speaks regarding ownership. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof: the world, and they that dwell therein.” Psalm 27:1 Of course, the Creator God is truly the one it belongs to.

The children of Israel had developed the idea that if they gave birth to children, that these children belonged to the parents. The prophet Ezekiel set the record straight, “Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the Father, so also the soul of the son is mine.” Ezekiel 18:4 “Moreover, thou hast taken thy sons and thy daughters, whom thou hast borne unto me.... thou hast slain my children....”

God created Adam and breathed life into him. Outside of God there is no life. God gave Adam and Eve the ability to have children, but God alone gives life and sustains life for all creatures in His creation.

Whereas, Paul tells the Corinthians, “Ye are not your own, you are bought with a price.” And to the Colossians he says that, “all things are created by Him and for Him.” So, we were not only created for Him, we were bought back for Him with the price of His own Son Jesus.

The children God has given you are yours only in the sense that God had given you the responsibility to bring them up in the way He directs. The directions contained in His Word are clear. Some day you will stand before the Father and give account for the most valuable of all God’s treasures on earth; the soul of a child. Your responsibility is to follow His directives, the outcome is His responsibility.

If when you have done all God has said to do and you still have a wayward child, then be aware that you are not alone. God says, “I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me.” Isaiah 1:2

The Pharaoh of Egypt thought that the Hebrews were his slaves. God sent Moses to tell him to “let my people go.” Pharaoh refused but God had the last word and proved that they were His people.

If you’ve considered your children as yours, you should repent and tell God that you now acknowledge that they are really His and that you will follow His scriptural directives for raising them. Psalm 127:3 “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His reward.”

        You must realize that the future of the church depends upon godly disciplined men and women.  I Tim. 3:4-5, “One that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)”

        A disciple is a disciplined one.  If we fail to discipline our own household then we are not qualified to make disciples unto Christ Jesus.

        I believe that the one major reason for the neglect of scriptural discipline and judgment in most church bodies is the disregard for upholding God’s standards.  In choosing leadership, pulpit committees, councils, boards, church bodies, or whoever is responsible, substitutes their own agenda such as education, experience, previous success, socializer, on and on, without consideration of God’s standards in I Tim. 3 and Titus 1 and 2 as well as many more given by Jesus and the apostles.

        I believe that for those who adhere to God’s Word as a standard for child raising will be given authority not only in the church Christ is building now but also in the age to come.  By the same token, many who seem to be doing great works for God while allowing their own children to go undisciplined may be stripped of all authority as an overseer in the next age.

        Nothing in the world can you take with you when you die.  However, by investing time and energy into your children, you can take them with you.  Or you can neglect your responsibilities to train them and lose them as well.

 

TRAINING CHILDREN

MEET MY FATHER

 

“We have had Fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence, shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of Spirits and live.”  Hebrews 12:9.  Perhaps my earthly father was the best a child could have. 

        The most important quality I would like for you to understand about my father is his loving discipline.  He loved me too much to let me go astray.  He corrected me with the rod of chastisement.

        God places the responsibility for training their children upon their father.  Psalm 78:5-6, “For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children:  That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children:”  You can give it back to God.  It is not the responsibility of the church, or the school or the scouts, the Sunday School teachers, the pastors, or the angels.  It’s the parent’s and since the father is the head, God holds him responsible.

        If the Fathers fail in this task many succeeding generations reap the bitter fruit.  Deut. 5:9-10, “visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.”  If you love God, it will show in your lifestyle, because it will change your heart.  Deut. 6:6-7, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:  and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” When you heart is changed and you really love Jesus, he will not be just a once a week add on, but he will be your entire life.  That’s when your children will experience what God intended for them to see in you, true love for God and them.  Your children pick up on your values.  They kindly absorb your priorities.  You teach and train by who you are, what you say and what you do.

 

God speaks – God acts

 

To know God is to know his ways and his actions.  How does he deal with his children.  To know this is to know how to best handle ours.  Not to know and to follow his ways is to err in your heart and grieve your heavenly father, and even worse (for you) to experience his wrath.  Hebrews 3:10-11, “Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, they do always err in their heart; and they have not known my ways.  So I swore in my wrath, they shall not enter into my rest.”

Now hear the words taken from Proverbs 3:11-12.  “My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:  For whom the Lord loves he corrects; even as a father the son in whom he delights.”  Hebrews 12:6-7, “For whom the Lord loves he chastens and scourges every son whom he receives.  If ye endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chastens not?”  This is God’s way which we must follow.  It’s the way of life.  It’s the way of the wise.  Listen again to the world’s most wise man, King Solomon.  Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.”   Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

 

The Pain Principle

People (we) as humans try to minimize pain and maximize pleasure. This is a very simple principle God established. He wants us to use this principle in child training. The instrument designated to create pain is the rod. The place to which it can be applied with no physical damage is the hind end.

The more severe the pain, the greater will be the effort to avoid it. When you apply the rod of correction to the child and it is not seeming to correct the misbehavior, it is probably due to not being severe enough.

When you have only a slight tooth pain, you may postpone or avoid going to the dentist. But when the pain becomes severe, you try for the earliest possible relief.

This principle applies with using the rod of correction. For extremely self-willed and determined children, the contest may become very intense. The worst thing you can do is give up. That is when satan has won a victory in rebellion, and the disobedient spirit will have received your permission to maintain its anti-Christ behavior in your child.

The scriptures instruct “Children, obey your parents.” However, children have the sin nature and will not adhere to this command. It is the responsibility of the parents to make this a reality.

 

Original Sin

 

God established boundaries for Adam & Eve. They trespassed and disobeyed. Only one time was all it took. Just one disobedience gave satan the domain that god had give man. Just one disobedience brought death.

Pain - Pleasure

Your small child is very smart and knows what he is doing. Your child will find pleasure in being stronger than you. He will feel superior when he has said “no” to you and gotten by. If he can throw a tantrum in order to manipulate you, then he knows he is in control. Even if you make them with physical force do as you say. Example, you say “come here.” Response, “no.” So the argument continues until you go and carry or drag them. The child won, the spirit of rebellion is still in charge, and satan had a great victory. The rod of chastisement should have been applied at the first rebellious “no.”

For the child to respond with “no” or any other form of dishonor to you the parent, is at no age cute. If you think it is to be smiled at, then view Jesus bleeding at the cross for you. That is the result of disobedience. At any age and in any form, it is an abomination to God and will be judged and punished.

If you do not judge and chastise it, then it may be a part of the child until judgement day when it will be judged by God and will certainly be of far greater severity. That is why Proverbs 13:14 is so true, “He that spareth his rod, hateth his son.

Why does God judge disobedience so severely?  By one man’s disobedience sin entered the world.  Disobedience is the Father sin and has caused all the pain and suffering since man first disobeyed.  To disobey is now part of the fallen nature.  The wrath of God still prevails against those who refuse to obey.  Thus it becomes imperative that we train our children to obey.  If we neglect that responsibility they will have difficulty in submitting in obedience to all other authority including God’s.  The Spirit of rebellion can become the strong man in their life that brings them down to destruction.

 

        “…You shall correct him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.”  (Proverbs 23:13)

        The root cause of disobedience is pride.  Pride caused the fall of satan and has since resulted in the fall of many.  Obedience is the result of humility.  The rod of chastening brings humility.  The law of forgiveness is separate and distinct from the law that says you reap what you sow.  Of course we forgive our children.  However, to be trained they must reap the consequences of their actions.  “He who spares his rod hates his son…” (Proverbs 13:24)  The meaning of Proverbs 22:6 is not that a properly trained child will depart and then return when he is old.  It means that as he is growing older he will not depart.

        Training is the key.  This involves time and effort, persistence and consistence and perseverance.

        Animal trainers know the importance of making sure their elephants, tigers or dogs are trained before putting them on display.  It is even more important as parents.  A half trained animal may turn on you, so also it is with children.

        One definition of trained is obedience to every command every time it is given.  If your children do not obey every command, you need to continue reading and take heed.

        Trainers need to understand the nature of their animals, parents as well.  It is not a child’s nature to obey.  Along with the sin of man came the spirit of rebellion passed on to our children.  One key I believe ranking with the most important in training is CONSISTENCY.  The trainer must do the same thing every time if he ever expects the trainee to respond the same way each time.  Anything less brings confusion. Before talking about that, let me say that not only do you need to understand your children, they need to understand you.  You need to teach them Scripture and show them the ways of the Lord.

        God made it plain to Adam and Eve.  Do not eat of that tree.  God spells out the rules and the consequences.  IF you disobey, you die. 

        Be sure your child understands the rules. You set the boundaries. When you establish them, all of heaven will work with you.  “Whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven.”  God gives you the authority and responsibility to bind and set the limitations:  TV, Books and magazines, radio, music, friends and many more boundaries need to be established.

 

        Never yell, unless the child is deaf or a long distance away.  When you yell you train them to yell and be disrespectful.  Speak with firm resolve.  Ask them to repeat.  Then you know they know.  Children learn much quicker than adults.  A child subjected to 3 languages while growing up speaks them all without effort.  Children are very smart and usually know their parents much better than their parents understand them, and many times use manipulations to get their own way, while the parents are unaware.  As children mature, so many parents are surprised or shocked that their child could behave in such a way that brings a reproach upon them, even committing serious criminal offenses.  Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.”  Many parents take for granted that their children will turn out good because they have provided good food, good clothes, a good house, good toys, etc.

        True security in a Christian’s life is to know God and believe his promises. Those who trust in anything of this world end up disillusioned.  So it is with children, they need a strong, firm, loving authority they can trust and believe in.  Nothing on earth can provide that, only the parents or guardian.  Without this, the child is insecure which results in misconduct. 

 

Limitations

 

        Limitations apply to all of us. According to the child’s age, he has limits.  Young children have a short attention span.  Tell them to do one thing at a time.  When they are young, too long or complicated directives bring confusion and forgetfulness.

 Keep an eye on him.  Then he knows you are serious and he knows he is not getting by.  Psalm 32:8, “I will guide thee with mine eye.”  He cannot lie about what he has done or fool you if you are watching.  Have him report to you when he is through.  Check it out.  When the assignment is finished, reward him with hearty expressions of praise.  Occasionally surprise him with something special you know he likes.  As you take these steps, be much in prayer for wisdom for yourself as well as for the Holy Spirit of love and obedience to dwell in your child.

        Wow, wasn’t that easy.  Probably not, for if your child is not accustomed to training, you will have to deal with some disobedience and rebellion.

 

CORRECTION – CHASTENING

 

In Hebrews 12, we see that God chastises every child of his with great love for the sake of bringing about obedience and holiness.  In Hebrews 2:2, we see that not one time do we transgress or disobey without being chastised.  God is consistent.  He never came to Adam and Eve and said, “Oh well, I’ll give you one more chance.”  Hebrews 2:2, “Every transgression and disobedience received a just recompense of reward.”

        Never chastise the child in the heat of anger.  You will probably overcorrect and be sorry.  One way to prevent this is to chastise every disobedience immediately.  If you let them build up inside, you may explode when you finally release chastisement and do more damage than good.

 

How do I properly bring correction?

 

Hebrews 12:9-10 “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.” The writer here takes it for granted that earthly fathers who know the scriptures used the rod of chastisement to correct their children. We don’t do it because it is fun. It is unpleasant for both the chastiser and chastenee. “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous.” Vs 11 But we do it because of the wonderful results. “But afterward it yields peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Vs 11 AMP

God judges and chastens with justice. Not everyone is punished or chastened with the same sentence. Luke 12:47-48 “That servant that knew his Lord’s will and prepared not himself, neither did according to Gods will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes shall be beaten with few stripes.”

Justice.  As a judge sentences different crimes with different sentences, so also ask God for wisdom to give a just reward for each transgression as well as each obedience. 

        There are different devices that may be used such as restrictions, greater limitations, extra work, withholding of previous benefits, etc.  However, the one ordained in Scripture is the rod applied to the seat.  This always gets right down to the bottom.

        Proverbs 23:13-14, “Withhold not correction from the child:  for if thou beat him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”  Whatever method you use other than the rod is not backed by the Word of God and will probably be ineffective compared to God’s method as outlined in the Scripture.

 

When should I begin?

 

As soon as you sense that they understand the meaning of the word, NO.  Normally perhaps one year old.  The longer you wait the harder it will be.  The roots of rebellion and disobedience become more deeply entrenched and hardened with age.  You must mold the clay while it is pliable.

        As the child matures and becomes conscious of people, do not spank in public.  Take him to a private place at once or as soon as possible.  To spank when others are watching will bring embarrassment which may damage your relationship long term.

 

You be the Judge

 

Psalm 89:14, “Justice and judgment are the habitation of thy throne.”  You as parents sit on the throne.  You make the rules, you enforce them, you are judge when those rules are broken, you give the sentence and you enforce.

        God has set you as king in your house.  Revelation 3:21, “He that overcomes shall sit with me in my throne even as I overcame and am set down with my father in his throne.”  How you handle your God-given power and authority will manifest itself in the lives of your children.

        Hebrews 2:2, “Every transgression and disobedience received a just recompense of reward.”  I cannot overemphasize the importance of consistent, every time punishment.  Without that, you’re only training inconsistency, confusion and strife.

 

Talk without action is like faith without works, DEAD. 

 

Let’s go to some Scriptural examples. Eli was the high Priest. It is not my purpose to criticize God’s Priest, but let us learn from his mistake.  He never trained them to obey or to have an intimate relationship with God.  I Samuel 2:12, “The sons of Eli were sons of Belial; (Prince of the devils)  In that light please understand Proverbs 23:13-14 that says that the chastening rod delivers a child from hell.  Where do the sons of Belial end up?  The same place as anyone else who does not know the Lord. (v 12)  The sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the Lord.

        v. 17, “The sin of the young men was very great before the Lord.”  They ate the raw flesh of the animal sacrifices instead of roasted as required.  This was the lust of the flesh.  They also committed fornication with the women of the congregation.

        v. 22-25, Eli was informed of their actions and he had a talk with them.  Basically he threatened them that the Lord would judge them.  Instead of accepting his responsibility, he tried to shift it back onto God.  This does not work!  God will not do your job, no more than you can do his.  Eli’s sons never changed, and Eli never got tough.

        Verses 27 to 36 are the words of the prophet God sent to Eli.  God’s judgment was to be very severe.

        They would be removed from the priesthood which they had been promised forever.  I Samuel 2:30, “Wherefore the Lord God of Israel said, I said indeed that thy house, and the house of thy father, should walk before me for ever: but now the Lord said, Be it far from me; for them that honor me I will honor, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.”  As a father he had the authority to make them obey, yet he refused.  I Samuel 3:13-14, “…his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.  Therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering forever.”

        In chapter 4, we read of a defeat in battle against the Philistines.  The Elders of Israel thought perhaps it was because they never had the Ark of the Covenant with them.

        Instead of removing the sin, they got the ark and only suffered an even greater defeat.  Both the sons of Eli were slain in battle and the ark was taken by the enemy.

        When they brought the news to Eli (I Samuel 4:18), he fell off his seat, broke his neck and died for he was an old man and heavy.  The fat man died and left this legacy, “The glory of God is departed.”  (I Samuel 4:21-22).

        This sad ending is being repeated thousands of times just because fathers failed to honor God in providing discipline and godly guidelines for their children.

 

Example number two – Samuelsons

 

It would seem that the prophet Samuel would have surely learned the importance of strict discipline for his sons.  However, he learned child raising from Eli’s example.  He was given to God by his Mother and served Eli from his youth.  He was actually raised the same way as Eli’s sons, so he had a poor example to go by.  Therefore, he made the same mistake in raising his sons.  Even though he was a prophet anointed by the Lord and lived a dedicated holy life it was not enough.  Without strict godly discipline, his sons never turned out much better than the sons of Eli.

        I Samuel 8:3, “And his sons walked not in his ways, but turned aside after lucre, (Money) and took bribes, and perverted judgment.”

        In the series of events that followed, the sons of Samuel lost their positions of authority and the right to be judges in Israel.

 

David And The Giant

We’ve all heard the triumphant victory of David over the taunting threats and boastful behavior of Goliath. He fearlessly slew this proud man and brought great victory to the armies of Israel.

But there was another giant he failed to conquer. In Deut. 17, God said that the king shall not multiply horses to himself, nor wives, nor silver and gold. The disregard for this command created for the king a giant which rose up against him and almost cost him his life.

 

David’s sons

 

King David had many wives and begat many sons and daughters by them.  Even though he was a great King, a mighty warrior and anointed prophet, he was for the most part an absentee father who never had time to train his numerous households scattered out in different locations.  As a result, we see the bitter results he had to live with.  One of his sons, Amnon raped his half sister, Tamar.  As a result, Tamar’s brother, Absalom, murdered Amnon.  Therefore, King David sent Absalom into exile.  Later, when Absalom wished to communicate with his father, David refused.  Absalom set Joab’s fields on fire in order to get his attention.  He finally got a very short appearance in the presence of his father and that ended the relationship.  Absalom rose up in rebellion, committed treason, drove his father out of Jerusalem with a mighty army and committed fornication with his father’s concubines, and pursued his father intending to kill him.  Many were slain in the ensuing battle and Absalom died at the hands of the Captain of the host as Joab thrust his heart with darts.  David’s grief was almost unbearable as he returned to Jerusalem with the lamentation, “Absalom, Absalom, my son Absalom.”

        The next attempt was made by Adonijah.  This was to David’s son by one of his wives named Haggith.  When King David became elderly and feeble, Adonijah gathered a great company, including Joab, Captain of the Host, and he usurped the position of King and tried to overthrow his father.  This also ended in defeat because David declared Solomon to be King.  Solomon was an obedient and submissive and wise son.

        What made the difference?  Early in the life of Solomon, King David had sworn to his mother, Bethsheba, that her son, Solomon, would be King.  King David therefore spent much time nurturing, teaching, training and disciplining Solomon.  As a result, Solomon respected his father, David, and was not selfish or greedy.  When God asked what he desired, he simply wanted wisdom in order to provide the most noble leadership for God’s people.  This led to favor with God and man as well as a reign of peace in his kingdom.

 

So it is with parents who fail to bring their children into subjection and obedience. Many times the consequences of their disregard for the instructions in Gods Word creates giants that bring shame and reproach upon their name and upon the name of Christ.

        Now notice again the words from Hebrews 12.  “If you are without chastisement…you are not sons (children) but are illegitimate.”

        In the 89th Psalm, we find the covenant of David which is fulfilled in the reign of Christ in our Life.  Psalm 89:3-4, “I have made a covenant with my chosen, I have sworn unto David my servant, thy seed will I establish for ever, and build up thy throne to all generations.”

        Since we have embraced God as our father, he does not disown us when we sin.  However, there is always a price to pay.  Psalm 89:30-32, “If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments; If they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments; Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.”

        There is always a high price to pay for disobedience or willful sin.  We can confess and be forgiven, but sin still has its consequences.  As you read the account of the sin of David with Bethsheba, you see an example of how that his sin was forgiven, but even after it was forgiven he suffered greatly the consequences that followed.

 

Provoke to Love, not Anger

 

In Ephesians, we are told not to provoke our children to wrath.  We are also instructed to provoke one another to love and to good works.

        Let us consider ways we can do this.  When we become as a child we provoke them to love.  Example:  your son says, “Daddy, I sure would like to have a puppy dog,” or your little girl wants a kitty cat.  What is your response?  It really means nothing to you and you want neither.  So you say, “No way, dogs are always barking and tearing things up, and they eat too much and on and on.  As for those stinking cats, they ought to shoot them on sight.  I hate cats, always have and always will, etc.  As for your child, you may have done less damage knocking him down with a 2 x 4.  If you do not want to identify with some of their values as a child, they will have a tendency to reject your adult values.  God loves his creation.  Why do you suppose he made cats and dogs in hundreds of varieties.

        Why not say, “It would be nice to have an animal.  Let’s ask the Lord to lead us to just the one he wants us to have.”  Or, ”I would like for you to have a pet, but in our present dwelling, they don’t allow cats or dogs.  How about a fish bowl now and perhaps the Lord will make a way for us later to have an animal.”

        Now you have done a lot to provoke to love, hope, encouragement and respect in your relationship.

       

Do not underestimate the spiritual sensitivity of children.  They pick up the atmosphere in your home.  Bible reading, spontaneous prayer, loving one another, expressions of thanks and praise, singing unto the Lord.  If this is your life, it will normally be the life of your children.  On the other hand, if hatefulness, disrespect, complaining and the like are present, you can expect to reap the same from your children.

Attitudes are just as important as actions.  The Lord loves a cheerful giver.  When we obey God because of fear of punishment or give him our time and energy begrudgingly, it grieves his heart.  These attitudes receive his chastening.  So also with our children.  Attitudes usually take more time and effort and love and encouragement than actions.

        In all you do in training your children possibly the most important is to walk in love and constantly asking the Holy Spirit for guidance for both you and your children.

 

When not to Punish

 

        Children should not be spanked for mishaps like accidental occurrences.  Example:  when I was young, I was made to wash and dry dishes at times.  Occasionally I happened to drop a plate or glass and break it.  It was not intentional and I regretted it.  I would be punished anyway, until – one day Mom dropped one and broke it.  I still well remember her apology to me as she explained that with the soap water the glass was slippery.  I appreciated her so much and the fact that she never again punished me for those things.

        Maybe a window in the house is broken by throwing a ball.  If it was an accident, it needs no punishment.  I can remember this happening to me at maybe 10 years of age.  I felt so bad about it that I went some distance from the house, behind the barn, and sat broken and discouraged.  But Dad came and brought great consolation and comfort in letting me know that it was only an accident and I was still loved.  Be assured, however, if he had instructed me not to throw the ball in that area, I would have gotten a good one for disobeying.  Thanks, Dad, I respect you very highly!

        Even much greater appreciation goes to my heavenly father.  Thanks for every chastisement you have given that I might be a partaker of your holiness and your eternal blessings!!

 

How long should I continue?

 

If you start young and continue through early or mid teens, you probably will have them trained.

        However, there may be exceptions.  For example, in the book of Deuteronomy, there was a law which stated, “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them; then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city and unto the gate of his place; and they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.  And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear and fear.”  (Deut. 21:18-21)

        God comes down very hard on willful disobedience.  If this continues through adulthood, the child will eventually face a power and authority that will force him into submission, but it will be very unpleasant for him.

        Other than the death sentence for crimes, the other form of correction directed by God’s Word even for mature adults was spanking.  This could be done with up to 40 stripes, as the judges required.  Deut. 25:1-3, “If there be a controversy between men, and they come unto judgment, that the judges may judge them; then they shall justify the righteous, and condemn the wicked.  And it shall be, if the wicked man be worthy to beaten, that the judge shall cause him to lie down, and to be beaten before his face, according to his fault, by a certain number.  Forty stripes he may give him, and not exceed: lest, if he should exceed, and beat him above these with many stripes, then thy brother should seem vile unto thee.”  Why does God come down so hard on disobedience?  Because it has eternal consequences.

 

Witchcraft

 

I Samuel 15:23, “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft…”  Satan in his pride disobeyed and rebelled against God.  Man aligned with satan and also disobeyed and rebelled against God.  Man and Satan in disobedience against God equals witchcraft.  Improperly trained or untrained children often use manipulation, control tactics and lies to deceive their parents and authorities.  This is the work of satan and relates to witchcraft.  There will be no witches in heaven.

        The stakes are high, the consequences are eternal, and you the parent for the most part determine the outcome.

 

Faithful Fathers

 

What is faithfulness?  In God’s Covenant with David and his seed (Jesus) as expressed in Psalm 89, verses 31-33, “If they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments; Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.   Nevertheless my loving kindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail.”  A part of God’s faithfulness lies in the fact that he uses the rod to correct his children.

        As you study the life of Moses, you see no account of where his children are indicted with evil.  He obviously used his rod to enforce discipline.  So in Hebrew 3, we find Moses is used as the example of being faithful in all his house.  Here he compares the reign of Christ over his house similar to that of Moses.  Moses was given the Law and knew how important it is to uphold and enforce it.  Not only did he judge and discipline his immediate family, but he was a faithful judge to the whole house of Israel.

        What will be eternally written regarding your faithfulness over your house?

        Once again let us adhere to Paul’s instruction for qualified church leadership, “one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; for if a  man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?”  I Tim. 3:4-5.  The Amplified says, “Keeping his children under control with true dignity, commanding their respect in every way and keeping them respectful.  Respect is an attitude and spirit as well as actions. 

 

A Spiritual Battle

If you are reading these scriptural admonitions and are fighting these truths, please be aware that this is a spiritual conflict. Spirits of rebellion receive reinforcement and strength in different ways. When a person has grown up with incorrect or unjust chastisement or abuse, it will resist even loving and Godly chastening. In these cases, the training process may take longer and a more strict enforcement to break the will to resist. Or, if you were raised without chastening, then the spirit of rebellion may be speaking to you something like this. “You are not bad and you weren’t spanked, and your parents are not bad and they let you have your way most of the time. So, why should you be so cruel as to force your children to obey you every time?” This spirit of disobedience which we inherited will use the carnal mind to fight the Word of God so that it bears no fruit. These spirits are familiar with your family weaknesses. The longer these enemies have maintained dominance in your family lineage, the more familiar they are with ways to defeat any changes you would make in order to overcome them. You must realize that your armor is the Word. Command them with your authority in Christ and then be bold to enforce the Word of God.

 

Bad news, good news.  First the bad.

        If you have not done this, you have disqualified yourself from church leadership.  Now the Good News.  You can begin right now.  Ask forgiveness from God.  Ask forgiveness from your children.  Explain to them the new order that you are going to bring to your house.  Show them the rod (Stick or spanking device, wooden spoon, etc.)   Explain how it will be used and why.  Disobedient actions and attitudes must be corrected.  Pray, love, discipline, love, pray, discipline, never give up.  God does not give up on us.

 

End.


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